:)

>>Too Busy for a friend
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the
>>other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space
>>between each name.
>>
>>Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say
>>about each of their classmates and write it down.
>>
>>It took the remainder of the class period to finish their
>>assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in
>>the papers.
>>
>>That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student
>>on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had
>>said about that individual.
>>
>>On Monday she gave each student his or her list.
>>
>>Before long, the entire class was smiling.
>>
>>"Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that I meant anything
>>to anyone!" and, "I didn't know others liked me so much." were most
>>of the comments.
>>
>>No one ever mentioned those papers in class again.
>>She never knew if they discussed them after class with their
>>parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its
>>purpose.
>>
>>The students were happy with themselves and one another. That
>>group of students moved on. Several years later, one of the
>>students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral
>>of that special student.
>>
>>She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He
>>looked so handsome, so mature. The church was packed with his
>>friends.
>>
>>One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin.
>>
>>The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.
>>
>>
>>As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer
>>came up to her.
>>
>>
>>"Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. She nodded: "yes."
>>Then he said: "Mark talked about you a lot."
>>
>>
>>After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together
>>to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously
>>waiting to speak with his teacher.
>>
>>
>>"We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet
>>out of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We
>>thought you might recognize it."
>>
>>
>>Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of
>>notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded
>>many times.
>>
>>The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on
>>which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates
>>had said about him.
>>
>>"Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As you can
>>see, Mark treasured it."
>>
>>
>>All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie
>>smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in
>>the top drawer of my desk at home."
>>
>>Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding
>>album."
>>
>>"I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary."
>>
>>Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her purse and showed
>>her frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times,
>>" Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: "I
>>think we all saved our lists."
>>
>>That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for
>>Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.
>>
>>
>>The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that
>>life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be.
>>
>>So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are
>>special and important.
>>
>>
>>Tell them, before it is too late...
>>
>>
>>AND ONE WAY TO ACCOMPLISH THIS IS:
>>
>> Forward this message on.
>>
>>
>>If you do not send it, you will have, once again passed up the
>>wonderful opportunity to do something nice and beautiful.
>>
>>
>>If you've received this, it is because someone cares for you and it
>>means there is probably at least someone for whom you care.
>>
>>
>>If you're "too busy" to take those few minutes right now to forward
>>this message on, would this be the VERY first time you didn't do
>>that little thing that would make a difference in your
>>relationships?
>>
>>
>>The more people that you send this to, the better you'll be at
>>reaching out to those you care about.
>>
>>
>>Remember, you reap what you sow, what you put into the lives of
>>others comes back into your own.
>>
>>
>>MAY YOUR DAY BE BLESSED AND AS SPECIAL AS YOU ARE
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Live every day like it's you last, and never look back. Just
>>remember the people you meet and the lessons you learn along the
>>way...
>>
>>
>>
>> (`'·.¸ (`'·.¸ (`'·.¸¸.·'´) ¸.·'´) ¸.·'´)
>> <<~~·.¸¸.°Jessy Redmond°.¸¸.·~~>>
>> (¸.´(¸.·´(¸·'´ `'·¸)`·.¸)`·¸)

Learn and Earn
by: Author Unknown, Source Unknown
Chuan and Jing joined a wholesale company together just after graduation. Both worked very hard. After several years, the boss promoted Jing to sales executive but Chuan remained a sales rep. One day Chuan could not take it anymore, tender resignation to the boss and complained the boss did not value hard working staff, but only promoted those who flattered him. The boss knew that Chuan worked very hard for the years, but in order to help Chuan realise the difference between him and Jing, the boss asked Chuan to do the following. Go and find out anyone selling water melon in the market? Chuan returned and said yes. The boss asked how much per kg? Chuan went back to the market to ask and returned to inform boss the $12 per kg. Boss told Chuan, I will ask Jing the same question? Jing went, returned and said, boss, only one person selling water melon. $12 per kg, $100 for 10 kg, he has inventory of 340 melons. On the table 58 melons, every melon weighs about 15 kg, bought from the South two days ago, they are fresh and red, good quality. Chuan was very impressed and realised the difference between himself and Jing. He decided not to resign but to learn from Jing. My dear friends, a more successful person is more observant, think more and understand in depth. For the same matter, a more successful person sees several years ahead, while you see only tomorrow. The difference between a year and a day is 365 times, how could you win? Think! how far have you seen ahead in your life? How thoughtful in depth are you?

Mental Test
>
>
>
> Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of
> the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we
> keep mentally alert. The saying: "If you don't use it,
> you will lose it" also applies to the brain,
> so.........
>
> Below is a very private way to gage your loss or
> non-loss of intelligence. So take the following test
> presented here and determine if you are losing it or
> are still a MENSA candidate.
>
> OK, relax, clear your mind and....... begin.
>
> 1. What do you put in a toaster?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> The answer is bread. If you said "toast", then give up
> now and go do something else. Try not to hurt
> yourself. If you said, "bread", go to question 2.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> 2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk". What do
> cows drink?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk", please
> do not attempt the next question. Your brain is
> obviously overstressed and may even overheat. It may
> be that you need to content yourself with reading
> something more appropriate such as "Children's World".
> If you said, "water" then proceed to question three.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> 3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue
> house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is
> made from pink bricks and a black house is made from
> black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said
> "green bricks", what the heck are you still doing here
> reading these questions????? If you said
> "glass", then go on to question four.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> 4. Twenty years ago, a plane is ; flying at 20,000 feet
> over Germany. If you will recall, Germany at the time
> was politically divided into West Germany and East
> Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines
> fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining
> engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing
> procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he
> has time and the plane crashes smack in the middle of
> "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany.
> Where would you bury the survivors - East Germany or
> West Germany or in "no man's land"?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you
> said ANYTHING else, you are a real idiot and you must
> NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your
> efforts would not be appreciated. ...... If you said,
> "Don't bury the survivors" then proceed to the next
> question.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> 5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60th of a
> degree every minute then how many degrees will the
> hour hand move in one hour?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Answer: One degree. If you said "360 degrees" or
> anything other than "one degree", you are to be
> congratulated on getting this far, but you are
> obviously out of your league. Turn your pencil in and
> exit the room. Everyone else proceed to the final
> question.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> 6. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus
> from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17
> people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off
> the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people
> get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off
> and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off
> and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get
> off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford
> Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Answer: Oh, for heaven sake! It was YOU, you dummy.
> Read the first line!!!

>"You Are Where God Wants You To Be"
>
>Next time your morning seems to be going wrong and
>the kids are slow getting dressed and you can't seem to find the car keys
>and
>you hit every traffic light, don't get mad or frustrated; praise God
>instead,
>because God is at work watching over you.
>
>After Sept. 11, I happened to call a man on business whom I didn't know and
>haven't nor will probably ever talk to again. But on this particular day,
>he
>felt like talking. He was the head of security for a company that had
>invited
>the remaining members of another company who had been decimated by the
>attack on
>the Twin Towers to share their office space.
>
>With his voice full of awe he told me stories of why these people were
>alive and
>their counterparts no longer were. In the end, all the stories were just
>about
>"LITTLE THINGS" that happen to us.
>
>You might know, the head of the company got in late that day because his
>son
>started kindergarten.
>
>Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring donuts. There
>were
>other stories that I hope and pray will someday be gathered and put in a
>book.
>
>The one that struck me was the man who put on a new pair of shoes that
>morning,
>took the various means to get to work but before he got there, he developed
>a
>blister on his foot. He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid. That is
>why he
>is alive today.
>
>Now when I am stuck in traffic, miss an elevator, turn back to answer a
>ringing
>telephone... all the little things that annoy me... I think to myself, this
>is
>exactly where God wants me to be at this very moment.
>
>May God continue to bless you with all those annoying little things.
>
>Pass this on to a friend, if you like.
>
>If you delete this, it's okay too....God's Love Is Not Dependant On
>E-Mail...

TWO TOUGH QUESTIONS :
>> >>
>> >>Question 1:
>> >>If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids
>> >>already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one
>> >>mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you
>> >>recommend that she have an abortion?
>> >>
>> >>Read the next question before looking at the answer
>> >>for this one.
>> >>
>> >>Question 2:
>> >>It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your
>> >>vote counts. Here are the facts about the three
>> >>leading candidates.
>> >>
>> >>Candidate A - Associates with crooked politicians, and
>> >>consults with astrologists. He's had two Mistresses.
>> >>He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a
>> >>day.
>> >>
>> >>Candidate B - He was kicked out of office twice,
>> >>sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a
>> >>quart of whiskey every evening.
>> >>
>> >>Candidate C - He is a decorated war hero. He's a
>> >>vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer
>> >>and never cheated on his wife.
>> >>
>> >>Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide
>> >>first, no peeking, then scroll down for the answer.
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>ANSWERS
>> >>Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
>> >>Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
>> >>Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.
>> >>
>> >>And, by the way, the answer to the abortion question:
>> >>If you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.
>> >>
>> >>Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think
>> >>before judging someone. Never be afraid to try
>> >>something new.
>> >>
>> >>Remember:
>> >>Amateurs built the ark.
>> >>Professionals built the Titanic
>> >>
>> >>Can you imagine working for a company that has a
>> >>little more than 500 employees and has the following
>> >>statistics:
>> >>29 have been accused of spousal abuse
>> >>7 have been arrested for fraud
>> >>19 have been accused of writing bad checks
>> >>117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2
>> >>businesses
>> >>3 have done time for assault
>> >>71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
>> >>14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
>> >>8 have been arrested for shoplifting
>> >>21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
>> >>84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last
>> >>year
>> >>
>> >>Can you guess which organization this is?
>> >>Given up yet?
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>It's the 535 members of the United States Congress.
>> >>The same group that crank out hundreds of new laws
>> >>each year designed to keep the rest of us the US
>> >>people in line.
>> >>
>> >>You gotta pass this one on.

>> >>Time Never Goes Back
>> >>
>> >>I received an email.. after sorting much of my email, I got this
>>story
>> >>which
>> >>I think its pretty interesting...
>> >>After reading, I could relate my life with the story...Then, do
>>self
>> >>reflection after having completed reading
>> >>this article!
>> >>
>> >>Once upon a time, there was a teacher and his student lying down
>>under a
>> >>big
>> >>tree near a big grass area.
>> >>Then, suddenly, the student asked the teacher,
>> >>
>> >>Student : Teacher, I'm confused, how can we find our soul-mate?
>>Can you
>> >>please help me?
>> >>Teacher : (Silent for few second, than he answer) Well, it's a
>>pretty hard
>> >>and easy question.
>> >>Student : (Thinking hard) Huh???
>> >>Teacher : Look on that way, there are a lot of grass there, why
>>don't you
>> >>walk there but please never walk backward, just walk straight
>>ahead. On
>> >>your
>> >>way, try to find a beautiful grass and pick it up then give it
>>to me. But
>> >>just one.
>> >>Student : Well, ok then... wait for me... (walked straight ahead
>>to the
>> >>grass field).
>> >>
>> >>A few minutes later...
>> >>
>> >>Student : I'm back.
>> >>Teacher : Em, well I don't see any beautiful grass on your hand.
>> >>Student : On my journey, I found few beautiful grass, but I
>>thought that I
>> >>would find a better one, so I didn't pick it up. But I didn't
>>realize that
>> >>I
>> >>m at the end of the field, and I hadn't picked up any. Cause you
>>told me
>> >>not
>> >>to go back, so I didn't go back.
>> >>Teacher : That's what happened in real life.
>> >>
>> >>What is the message of this story?
>> >>* Grass - is people around you
>> >>* Beautiful Grass - is people that attract you
>> >>* Grass Field - is time
>> >>* In looking for your soulmate, please don't always compare and
>>hope that
>> >>there will be a better one. By doing that, you'll waste your
>>lifetime,
>> >>cause
>> >>remember "Time Never Goes Back".
>> >>It applies the same in finding your ideal life partner, your
>>suitable
>> >>career
>> >>or business, therefore the morale is LOVE & grab hold of the
>>opportunity
>> >>that you have now, don't waste time!
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>~There Can Be Only One~

Everyday when you return from your school, whether or not it is from a
secondary school, a junior collage, a polytechnic, or ITE, you would
probably think that school sucks.


All that work and torture under your lecturer's or teacher's homework or
assignments, or tutorials...


But think about this, i mean really think. All the time spent with your
classmates, all the laughter, sorrows, and happiness of knowing that your
friends are there in your class.


Now imagine them gone, perhaps part of them or even all of them. You may
not realise it, but when advancing into the next level of education, it is
inevitable that some friends will be parting with you.


What is all this you ask yourself, what I ask is of you to think, for those
who received this mail, what do those people who were once or were still
your classmates and friends meant to you.


Anyone who has at least finished their o levels and has graduated from
respective schools would know the feeling of parting with your classmates
and friends.


Not knowing when you still see them again.


Perhaps the next day, the next week, month, years, or even decade. Perhaps
one day, you would realised how bitter sweet those memories were, the fun
you had with your classmates and friends.


That is why ever so often when you asked someone which is the most fond
memories they had in their years in education, they would often have that
sadness in their eyes, but yet, they smile briefly.


It's the memories of their school friends. Those unforgettable years of
laughter and happiness in school.


Each classmate had suffered under the same stresses in school. The
teachers, whether they are kind or extremely strict.


So treasure your schooling days, don't complain, because you never know
when you will miss them dearly. And perhaps, shed a tear for those
treasured times in your youth.


Now, you have two choices,


1) if this touches your heart, and reminded you of those classmates who
brought happiness, laughter, colour to your life, you can pass it on, let
your classmates know that although all these years, whether short or long,
you still have not forgotten them. Or...


2) If you feel that this is just another letter that is writing rubbish,
you can just delete this straight away.


Let those whom are weak and tormented in the spirit find strength in this
letter, knowing that someone still remembers them, and care for them. No
matter the circumstances.


Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear
no evil, for you are with me


-Psalm 23-

>EVER WONDER where we are headed...
>
>...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our
>skin?
>
>...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth
>closed?
>
>...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic
>Wins Lottery"?
>
>...why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
>
>...why doctors call what they do "practice"?
>
>...why you have to click on "Start" to stop
>Windows 98?
>
>...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor,
>while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
>
>...why the man who invests all your money is
>called a broker?
>
>...why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?
>
>...who tastes dog food when it has a "new &
>improved" flavor?
>
>...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
>
>...why they sterilize the needle for lethal
>injections?
>
>...why they don't make the whole plane out of the
>material used for the indestructible black box ?
>
>...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
>
>...why they are called apartments when they are
>all stuck together?
>
>...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the
>opposite of progress?
>
>...why they call the airport "the terminal" if
>flying is so safe?
>
>AND...
>
>In case you need further proof that the human race
>is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual
>label instructions on consumer goods.
>
>On a Myer hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
>(darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my
>hair).
>
>On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No
>purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter
>special?)
>
>On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like
>regular soap." (and that would be how???....)
>
>On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion:
>Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
>
>On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
>"Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late,
>huh)!
>
>On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be
>hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
>
>On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron
>clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more
>time?)
>
>On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a
>car or operate machinery after taking this
>medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the
>rate of construction accidents if we could just get
>those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those
>forklifts.)
>
>On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause
>drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
>
>On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or
>outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
>
>On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for
>the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on
>this. I'm a bit curious.)
>
>On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
>talk about a news flash!)
>
>On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
>"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe,
>uh...fly Delta?)
>
>I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for
>this one: On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of
>this garment does not enable you to fly."
>
>On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop
>chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a
>lot of this happening somewhere?)
>
>Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your
>turn to send this to someone
>you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a
>chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone. We all
>need to smile every once in a while.
>
>

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but
shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more,
but
have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller
families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less
sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems,
more medicine, but less wellness.


We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,
drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too
little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our
possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and
hate too often.


We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to
life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but
have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer
space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.


We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom,
but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but
accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more
computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but
we
communicate less and less.


These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small
character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of
two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are
days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night
stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to
quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and
nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to
you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to
just
hit delete.


Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going
to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to
you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your
side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is
the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.


Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but
most
of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from
deep
inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday
that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak,
and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.


Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments
that take our breath away.


HOW TO STAY YOUNG


1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.
Let
the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.


2. Keep only cheerful friends.. The grouches pull you down.


3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop."
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.


4. Enjoy the simple things.


5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.


6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is
with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.


7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,
keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.


8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,
improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.


9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to
a
foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.


10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.


AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away. If you don't send this to at
least 8 people.... who cares?


-George Carlin



Find out what you want, find something you really care about. When you know
what you want, the rest follows. But don't just drift off into something
because it offers security. Security is never worth a damn. We're meant to
live and to live means living dangerously, half on the edge of trouble,
half
on the edge of achievement.
Hammond Innes

> A Chinese man walks into a bank in New York City and
> asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer
> that he is going to Taiwan on business for two weeks
> and needs to borrow $5,000.
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> The bank officer tells him that the bank will need
> some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese
> hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the
> street in front of the bank. He produces the title
> and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees
> to accept the car as
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> The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a
> good laugh at the Chinese for using a $250,000
> Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An
> employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into
> the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
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> Two weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the
> $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
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> The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to
> have had your business, and this transaction has
> worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
> While you were away, we checked you out and found
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> that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us
> is, why would you
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> The Chinese replies: "Where else in New York City
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> can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and
> expect it to be there when I return?"

> Congratulations to us....
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>
> A young wife sat on a sofa in Bukit Timah on
a hot
> humid day, drinking
> iced tea and visiting with her Mother.
>
> As they talked about life, about marriage,
about the
> responsibilities
> of life and the obligations of adulthood, the
mother
> clinked the ice
> cubes in her glass thoughtfully and turned a
clear,
> sober glance upon
> her daughter. "Don't forget your girlfriends,"
she
> advised, swirling
> the tea leaves to the bottom of her
glass. "They'll
> be more
> important as you get older. No matter how much
you
> love your
> husband, no matter how much you love the
children
> you'll have, you are
> still going to need girlfriends. Remember to go
> places with them now
> and then; do things with them. And remember
that
> "girlfriends" are not
> only your friends, but your sisters, your
daughters,
> and other
> relatives too. You'll need other women. Women
always
> do."
>
> 'What a funny piece of advice,' the young woman
> thought. 'Haven't I
> just gotten married? Haven't I just joined the
> couple-world? I'm now a
> married woman, for goodness sake, a grownup,
not a
> young girl who needs girlfriends! Surely my
husband
> and the family
> we'll start will be all I need to make my life
> worthwhile!'
> But she listened to her Mother; she kept
contact
> with her
> girlfriends and made more each year. As the
years
> tumbled by,
> one after another, she gradually came to
understand
> that her Mom really
> knew what she was talking about. As time and
nature
> work their
> changes and their mysteries upon a woman,
> girlfriends are the
> mainstays of her life. After 50 years of
living in
> this world, here is
> what I know about girlfriends:
>
> Girlfriends bring you chicken curry and scrub
your
> bathroom when you need help.
> Girlfriends keep your children and keep your
> secrets.
> Girlfriends give advice when you ask for it.
> Sometimes you take it,
> sometimes you don't.
> Girlfriends don't always tell you that you're
right,
> but they're
> usually honest.
> Girlfriends still love you, even when they
don't
> agree with your choices.
> Girlfriends laugh with you, and you don't need
> canned jokes to start the laughter.
> Girlfriends pull you out of jams.
> Girlfriends help you get out of bad
relationships.
> Girlfriends help you look for a new apartment,
help
> you pack, and help you move.
> Girlfriends will give a party for your son or
> daughter when they get married or have a baby,
in
> whichever order that
> comes!
> Girlfriends are there for you, in an instant
and
> when the hard times come.
> Girlfriends will drive through blizzards,
> rainstorms, hail, heat, and
> gloom of night to get to you when your hour of
need
> is desperate.
> Girlfriends listen when you lose a job or a
friend.
> Girlfriends listen when your children break
your
> heart.
> Girlfriends listen when your parents' minds and
> bodies fail.
> Girlfriends cry with you when someone you loved
> dies.
> Girlfriends support you when the men in your
life
> let you down.
> Girlfriends help you pick up the pieces when
men
> pack up and go.
> Girlfriends rejoice at what makes you happy,
and
> are ready to go out and
> kill what makes you unhappy. Times passes.
> Life happens.
>
> Distance separates.
> Children grow up.
> Love waxes and wanes.
> Hearts break.
> Careers end.
> Jobs come and go.
> Parents die.
> Colleagues forget favours.
> Men don't call when they say they will.
> BUT girlfriends are there, no matter how much
time
> and how many miles
> are between you. A girlfriend is never farther
away
> than needing her can reach. When you have to
walk
> that lonesome valley,
> and you have to walk it for yourself, your
> girlfriends will be on the
> valley's rim, cheering
> you on, praying for you, pulling for you,
> intervening on your
> behalf, and waiting with open arms at the
valley's
> end.
> Sometimes, they will even break the rules and
walk
> beside you. Or come
> in and carry you out. My daughter, sisters,
mother,
> sisters-in-law,
> mother-in-law, aunties, nieces, cousins,
extended
> family, and friends
> bless my life! The world wouldn't be the same
> without them, and neither
> would I. When we began this adventure called
> womanhood, we
> had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows
that
> lay ahead. Nor did
> we know how much we would need each other.
Every
> day, we need each
> other still.
>
> Pass this on to the women who help make your
life
> work. I just did.

"You're Always By My Side"

A man was walking across the road when he met with an accident. The
impact was on his head which caused him to be in a coma for 2 days. When
he opened his eyes, his wife was by his side.


He told her (in tears), "When I was struggling with my studies in the
University, I failed again and again. Sometimes I even have to re-take
my papers. You were there by my side, encouraging me to go on trying."


She squeezed his hands as he continued, "When I went for major
interviews and failed to clinch any of the jobs, you were there, cutting
out the job ads for me to apply..."


He added, "then I started working in this little firm and finally got a
big contract. I blew it because of a small mistake. But you are still
there for me."


His wife was in tears.


The man said, "I finally got a job after being laid off for quite some
time. But I never seem to be promoted and my hard work was not
recognised. I remained in the same position from the day I joined the
company till now. You are still beside me..."


His wife's tears trickled down as she listened to him, "And now I met
with an accident and when I woke up, you are here with me."

"There's something I'll really like to say to you..."

She flung herself on the bed and hugged her husband, sobbing with deep
emotion.


Finally her husband said,
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"I think you bring me bad luck."

> MARRIAGE (PART I)
> Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady
> and after the wedding
> laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I
> want, if I want and at
> hat time I want - and I don't expect any hassle from
> you. I expect great
> dinner to be on the table unless I
> tell you. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and
> card-playing when I want
> with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard
> time about it. Those are
> my rules. Any comments?"
> His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just
> understand that there'll
> be sex here at ten o'clock every night......whether
> you're here or not."
>
> MARRIAGE (PART II)
> Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of
> their 40th wedding
> anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm
> getting you a headstone
> that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As
> Ever.'""Yeah?" she replies. "When
> you die, I'm getting you a headstone that
> reads,"Here Lies My Husband -
> Stiff At Last.'"
>
> MARRIAGE (PART III)
> A husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight
> at the breakfast
> table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you
> are no good in bed
> either," and storms out of the house. After
> sometime, he realises he was
> nasty and decides to make amends
> and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many
> rings and the irritated
> husband says, "What took you so long to answer the
> phone?"She says, "I was
> in bed."
>
> "In bed this late.....doing what?" he asked."Getting
> a second opinion!"
>
> MARRIAGE (PART IV)
> A man has six children and is very proud of his
> achievement. He is so proud
> of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother
> of Six" in spite of
> her objections. One night, they go to a party. The
> man decides that it's
> time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is
> ready to leave as
> well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we
> go home 'Mother of
> six'?"His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of
> discretion shouts right
> back,"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!'"
>
> MARRIAGE (PART V)
> A man and his wife were having some problems at home
> and were giving each
> other the silent treatment. The next week the man
> realised that he would
> need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for a flight to
> Europe.Not wanting to
> be the first to break the silence,
> he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake
> me tomorrow morning at
> 5:00 am".
> The next morning the man woke up, only to discover
> it was 9:00am,and that
> he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to
> go and see why his wife
> hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by
> the bed....it said
> ....It's 5:00am, wake up.